


just feel me (feel alive)

by showho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Riding, how could i forget D:, me at midnight: this is a great time 2 write a pwp :D, mirror sex (like ... also kinda :/), praise kink (kinda??)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:41:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showho/pseuds/showho
Summary: "I've been thinking about us a lot." Hoseok sits up, and Hyunwoo quietly realizes that Hoseok has been shouldering more burdens than he's let on. "Will we be okay? I mean, I know the members support us, they reassure me of that all the time, but the general public..." He trails off, looking down to his shoes with his bottom lip pushed out into a pout.





	just feel me (feel alive)

**Author's Note:**

> hello . it's me w some unbeta'd showho . its also 5:30am . yes :-) enjoy :-).

Hyunwoo knocks on the door of the practice room at 1am with a plastic bag of leftover food from their dorm. There’s a muffled “one second!” Before the door clicks open and Hoseok’s face peers into view, breaking into a wide smile. “Hyunwoo!” He says cheerily, stepping aside to let him in. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at home?”

Hyunwoo shuffles inside and sets the leftover food onto the floor, shrugging off his jacket with a small smile. “Missed you, that’s all. You haven’t been home for the past few days.” He walks over to the mirrors, sitting with his back against them. He watches as Hoseok lowers down the music (he recognizes the song as something he had recommended to the other a while ago and smiles to himself at the fact Hoseok was dancing to it) and sits cross legged in front of him. “Were you busy?”

Hoseok hums his assent, settling his weight onto the palms of his hands. "I guess? I was trying to choreograph something to that song you showed me but everything just feels so stiff and awkward. It doesn't look natural." He drops his head to his shoulder, huffing out in frustration. Hyunwoo feels bad for his boyfriend and slides down the floor so he's lying down and stretches his arms out.

"Want a hug?" He asks from his spot on the floor, tilting his head up to be able to see Hoseok. The younger male is hiding a curved smile behind hands hidden in sweater paws and Hyunwoo's heart fills with warmth at how quick Hoseok shuffles to lie next to him. He lets his arms fall against the shiny practice room floor with a soft thud, letting Hoseok rest his head on his chest (right over his heart, Hyunwoo notes) and throw a heavy arm around his midsection. His legs come to tangle with Hyunwoo's as Hoseok presses himself closer to his side, a content sigh being pulled from rosy lips as he lets the natural warmth of their leader settle his uneasy mind.

Hyunwoo starts carding his fingers through the dyed red of Hoseok's hair, listening to the breathing of the younger male even out. "Feel better?"

"Kind of. I still feel tense," Hoseok shifts so his chin rests on Hyunwoo's chest, eyes roving over the other male's features. "I've been thinking about us a lot." Hoseok sits up, and Hyunwoo quietly realizes that Hoseok has been shouldering more burdens than he's let on. "Will we be okay? I mean, I know the members support us, they reassure me of that all the time, but the general public..." He trails off, looking down to his shoes with his bottom lip pushed out into a pout. Hyunwoo sits up and shuffles so he's facing the younger male, a hand reaching out to gently take Hoseok's chin. He makes the younger look at him before he leans in to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Hey, listen to me okay?" Hyunwoo starts, both hands occupying themselves with holding Hoseok's. He takes a second to choose his words carefully, because as much trust as the members put into Hyunwoo to lead them in thankful speeches, even he struggled a little when it came to words of comfort. "I can't predict the future, but I promise I'll do everything I can to make sure we're okay. You don't need to worry about what the public thinks, okay? They don't have to know everything about you." He leans into Hoseok's space, forehead gently knocking against his. "Here, in this practice room in the middle of the night, it's just us. You don't have to worry about others around me. I'll keep you safe," he quietly promises and holds out his pinky. It's childish and so uncharacteristic of him, but it makes Hoseok laugh quietly and loop his pinky around his anyways, giving it a little shake.

Hoseok lets go of their pinkies after a beat, hands reaching up to cup Hyunwoo's face and pull him in for a kiss. "Thank you," Hoseok breathes and Hyunwoo smiles.

"Anything for you," he murmurs and lets Hoseok pull him by the strings of his hoodie into a kiss again. Their lips slide against each other, both just enjoying the feeling of being _there_ , breaths mingling into one. Hyunwoo notices that Hoseok tastes faintly of strawberries and tilts the younger's head to deepen the kiss, revelling in the feeling that blooms in his chest at how easy Hoseok goes along with his motions. His hands slide under Hoseok's sweater, exploring the expanses of skin ( _mine_ , he thinks to himself, _this is all mine_ ) and pays close attention to the quiet moans falling from the other's lips. He parts from their kiss, smiling to himself at Hoseok's whine and noses against his neck, pressing sloppy kisses against the unmarked skin. He leaves barely there bruises, knowing it could easily be hidden with a little concealer. One day, he wants to have a break long enough that he can leave as many marks on Hoseok as he wants without worrying about fans and their zoomed in screenshots.

For now, he settles with soft, rosy kisses as his claim.

Hyunwoo pulls back from Hoseok, pulling off his hoodie and his shirt in one go before balling it up. He doesn't miss the appreciative look Hoseok throws his way (and if he flexes just a little to show off his body, then that was just between the both of them) and holds out his clothes for Hoseok. "Put them under your head," he says and Hoseok scrambles to comply, sliding against the floor with a squeak. Hyunwoo walks to where he left the plastic bag of leftover food, ignoring the containers completely for the lube and condoms he had stashed under them. When he turns around and holds them up with one hand, Hoseok bursts out laughing.

"Someone came prepared." He says and Hyunwoo nods sagely.

"You never know," he replies and settles himself between Hoseok's legs. He sets aside the lube and condom, pushing up Hoseok's sweater to reveal his toned and trim figure. "God, you're so beautiful." Hyunwoo murmurs, trailing a hand across the other's stomach. Hoseok shivers under his touch, any sound from his lips muted as he bites down on the sleeve of his sweater. Hyunwoo leans forward, presses wet kisses against the smooth skin underneath him, taking a second to just _appreciate_ Shin Hoseok in the way he wants. Hoseok squirms with every press of Hyunwoo’s lips against his skin, gasping softly. The sweater sleeve to keep him quiet ends up being useless, slipping from his spit slick lips as his hands scramble for purchase on his sweater. Hyunwoo's kisses travel lower until he reaches the waistband of Hoseok's sweatpants, pulling away to tug them down. 

Hyunwoo has to move away from the space in between his legs to get the sweatpants off all the way, opting to throw them behind him in a heap. He hears the crinkle of plastic and cringes when Hoseok makes a surprised face, looking off behind Hyunwoo. "You hit the food!" Hoseok points out, but the sentence ends in a strangled moan when Hyunwoo puts his mouth around Hoseok's cock, taking him down all the way. Hyunwoo chooses to focus on Hoseok entirely, hands pinning his hips to the floor, bobbing his head and dragging his tongue over a particular spot that makes Hoseok's toes curl and moan loudly. He alternates in pressure and speed until he's satisfied that Hoseok is just on the brink, listening to the harsh panting, the strained voice that pleads for Hyunwoo to go  _faster_ and god, Hyunwoo wishes his mouth wasn't full of dick because otherwise he'd tell Hoseok he sounds  _beautiful._ He feels fingers tangle in the strands of his hair, tugging insistently and Hyunwoo looks to Hoseok from under his eyelashes. The younger is biting down on his sleeve again, muffling his mewls as he struggles not to buck his hips upwards. Just for fun, Hyunwoo sucks just a little harder, savoring the feeling of Hoseok's back arching off the floor and the loud, almost broken moan that's pulled from him. He pushes himself to take all of Hoseok again before pulling off until only the head of Hoseok's cock remains in his mouth. He tongues the spot just under the crown, lets Hoseok have a few more kitten licks to the slit before he's pulling off entirely to admire his handiwork. 

Hoseok is flushed, a gorgeous pink tint on his cheeks and his lips bitten ruby red. His cock is wet and shiny with precum and saliva and Hyunwoo smiles, leans over Hoseok's trembling figure to press a kiss to his lips. "You're such a good boy for me, aren't you?" He murmurs when he pulls away, and Hoseok's glassy eyes search for his, nodding in reply. "You sound so beautiful too, especially when you made those sounds for me." He shifts back into his previous position, sitting back on his haunches. He reaches for the lube and clicks it open, drizzling a generous amount over his fingers. Hoseok is quiet beneath him, keeping his teeth clamped around his sleeve as he watches Hyunwoo's hands expectantly. Hyunwoo settles Hoseok's legs over his shoulders, adjusting the both of them until he could easily spread Hoseok's cheeks apart with one hand. Hyunwoo himself is hard, almost painfully so, but tonight was about Hoseok, and Hyunwoo refused to give himself any attention until Hoseok was satisfied.

He brushes a digit against Hoseok's hole, making eye contact with him before doing anything further. He gets a nod to go ahead and pushes in slowly, mindful for the minute reactions. All he hears from Hoseok is the hitch of his breath and feels the tense of his legs, but otherwise Hyunwoo has reason to believe he's fine. "You're doing so good, baby," Hyunwoo says softly as he edges in another finger after a few moments, pumping them in and out of Hoseok slowly. "You're being so good for me, you know that? So beautiful with your legs spread like this, making those noises just for me." He punctuates the last few words with a few well angled thrusts of his fingers, watching as Hoseok breathlessly tries to rock his hips against Hyunwoo's fingers.

Hoseok pulls the sleeve away from his lips, ignoring how soaked it was in favor of digging his feet into Hyunwoo's back. "More," he tells him, and Hyunwoo complies easily. 

Tonight was about Hoseok anyways.

Three fingers slide into Hoseok, who shudders at the sensation. All worries of keeping quiet are lost as Hyunwoo starts fucking Hoseok with his fingers, praises falling from plush lips that almost go unnoticed under the sounds that come from Hoseok. He slides his fingers out, shushing Hoseok's whimpers and tugs down his sweatpants, reaching over for the condom packet by Hoseok's head. It tears open easily under his teeth and he rolls it over his cock, groaning quietly at how good his hands felt on himself. When he disappears out of Hoseok's view to settle against the mirrors, the younger rolls onto his stomach before sitting up on his knees, waiting patiently for Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo pats his lap expectantly, laughing as Hoseok scrambles to straddle him. "Careful, baby," he chastises and Hoseok pouts as he wraps his arms around his shoulders.

"Don't tease me." He says, tone leaning on demanding and Hyunwoo leans to kiss his pout away. 

"I'm sorry, go ahead, don't let me distract you."

Hoseok pretends to look bothered by Hyunwoo, scrunching his nose at Hyunwoo before taking the older male's cock in hand and positioning it against his ass. Slowly, almost painstakingly, Hoseok sinks down, head thrown back as Hyunwoo fills him up. He steadies his hands on Hoseok's waist, keeping the younger male balanced until Hoseok is seated fully. There's a moment, just before Hoseok begins to move, where their eyes meet and the universe breathes out, where the stars and the galaxies and the constellations go from being an ever expanding thing to condensing until it wraps warmth around Hoseok and Hyunwoo. "I love you," Hyunwoo says quietly, letting the words hang in the space between them. Hoseok smiles so sweetly, laughs as he lets his forehead meet Hyunwoo's. 

"Me too, I love you too." 

Then Hoseok rolls his hips, swallows the groan that built up in Hyunwoo's mouth with a searing kiss and Hyunwoo lets Hoseok control the pace and the rhythm. He knows Hoseok likes to go slow, likes to take in as much of Hyunwoo as he can before pushing himself up and sinking back down again. Here, Hyunwoo only keeps his hands on Hoseok's waist in an almost bruising grip, mouthing at the skin within reach and whispering praises like they were prayers. "Are you seeing how beautiful you look?" Hyunwoo breathlessly asks, head thunking against the mirror to admire Hoseok before him. Hoseok nods, eyes fixated on the large practice mirror. "Do you look good taking my cock so well?"

Hoseok braces his hands on the mirror, breath caught in his throat as he watches their reflections. "I do," he says, tearing his eyes away from the mirror to look at Hyunwoo, tongue slipping out to wet his lips. "I look so pretty sitting on your lap, taking your cock so deeply," Hoseok's lips part as he sucks in a breath, "I look  _really_ pretty."

Hyunwoo smiles, watches Hoseok's sweat slicked muscles shift with every movement until Hoseok tenses above him. He's shifted angles subtly and Hyunwoo can easily tell they're both reaching their limits. He wraps a hand around Hoseok's dick, stroking it with a tight fist until Hoseok spills over his hand with a moan. His head drops against Hyunwoo's shoulder, his figure slumped over the male until he pulls himself off of Hyunwoo's cock, muttering about oversensitivity and closing his own digits around Hyunwoo's dick, taking his time with getting him off. Hyunwoo chases after Hoseok's lips, catching them in a sweet kiss and occasionally parting to tell him he looked beautiful. Hoseok smiles at the praise, works his hand a little quicker until Hyunwoo jerks under his hand, head hitting the mirror with a loud thunk as he comes. Hoseok pulls the condom off of Hyunwoo carefully, tying it and holding it until he decides to take out the forgotten containers of food from the plastic bag and use that as a temporary trash can. 

As Hyunwoo comes down from his high, Hoseok throws his balled up clothes at him, aiming straight for his face. "Get dressed and let's go home, I'm sleepy." Hoseok demands, slipping on his underwear and sweatpants with a wince. Hyunwoo nods and peels himself off the mirror, making a face at the streaks left behind.

"Are there any wet wipes?" He asks and Hoseok throws him a packet. They both take a few minutes to clean themselves and the practice room up, leaving the door open as they leave hand in hand. Outside of the company, the bitter night cold nips at their exposed skin. Hyunwoo wraps his jacket around Hoseok before taking his hand again, intertwining their fingers together. 

When they reach the warmth of their dormitories, Changkyun is sitting in the living room, features lit up by the rapidly changing lights of Overwatch. He spares the pair a glance before furrowing his brows, eyeing them suspiciously. Hoseok opts to say nothing, beelining for the bathroom and leaving Hyunwoo by the door. "It's late." Hyunwoo comments as he shuffles to his room and Changkyun narrows his eyes at him.

"Yeah. And you've been gone for a whole hour. Did you pick Hoseok hyung up, throw him across Han River and then walk back home?" 

Hyunwoo freezes and stares at the floor before meeting the youngest's eyes and nodding. "He tripped halfway too."

"Hyung, I can't believe you had sex with Hoseok hyung at the company. We  _work_ there!" Changkyun exclaims before the game calls his attention again. Hyunwoo takes this opportunity to slip away, gently pushing open the door to his shared room. He sheds his clothes and changes into clean underwear and sweatpants, shimmying into the cold of his bed. Just seconds after he pulls the blanket over his body, Hoseok stumbles into the room his pajamas and shoos Hyunwoo to move, settling into the newly made space beside him. Hyunwoo pats the blanket securely around Hoseok and puts his hand between them, smiling as Hoseok immediately took it. 

"Good night." Hyunwoo says softly, unable to miss the way Hoseok's eyes light up.

"Good night, I love you." Hoseok replies and laughs quietly when Hyunwoo shuffles forward to kiss the tip of his nose. They drift off into sleep quickly, Hyunwoo making himself stay up a little longer to watch over Hoseok and ensure the younger slept well. Just as the first rays of sunlight pierce the room, Hyunwoo lets sleep take him under quietly, softly. Here, with Hoseok, he sleeps easy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> and goodbye . 
> 
> (hi i'm practicing how to write smut nd who better to practice with than w my fave beefie boys !!! kudos nd comments keep me Alive . also !!!! i managed 2 write this w/o feeling embarrassed :D !!! im rly proud of myself for that jhFJKHS mayb its bc i wrote all of this listening to likey and bboom bboom ,,, ggs keep me alive nd going :/
> 
> neways !!! happy new year !!! stay safe nd i love u :D !!!)
> 
> (also thank u 2 pentagon for the title i dont remember what song it was (runaway??? probably!!!) but it brought this whole thing together <3)


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